


The walk in the dark

by Hyasynth



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Depression, Dragons, Gen, Post-War, Spirits, Suicide Attempt, The Search Comics (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 01:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30031062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyasynth/pseuds/Hyasynth
Summary: It was destiny that Zuko became the Fire Lord while Azula became a monster.orFate forcing Azula to work while going through a self-learning journey
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing a fanfic and I don't know where this is going. 
> 
> I'm not a native english speaker so there will be a lot of errors here
> 
> Trigger warning: Suicide Attempt and Depression

001

It has been one month since Azula disappeared in the Forgetful Valley. Fire Lord Zuko sent men to search for her but it was to no avail. His younger sister, even though she has gone crazy, clearly still has her impressive abilities. She covered her tracks so well that even the bounty hunters couldn’t find a scent of her. 

Zuko had put out a bounty for her in hopes that there would be traces of Azula if she went to a village or in another nation. Waiting for months had given him no news about her sister if she was even alive or dead. 

Yet, he couldn’t give up no matter how long he would have to wait.

Zuko knew that if he did give up, there would be no chance of saving Azula. He couldn't fully understand what she had been going through but he wanted to be there for his younger sister no matter what. He knew that in this world, he might be the only person that still believed in her, that she could change as he did in the past.

He just had to believe that Azula was alive.

...

She was alive, which she had thought was unfortunate for her. Azula raised her hand in the bright area that was unfamiliar to her. She was floating inside a body of water that left her back wet. 

The last thing that she remembered was that she wanted to end her life in the lakes of the Forgetful Valley. She had been hiding there for a month with her mind playing with her. Illusions of her mother and Zuko had been bothering her in daylight and even in her dreams.

The hurt she felt whenever she was reminded that her mother doesn’t love her enough continued to replay in her mind. Zuko would appear by her side and talk about the moments they had fun in their childhood. 

The guilt she didn't even know she had would come to pierce her battered heart and the helplessness would follow when she remembered her friends betraying her.

That was when she was awake and when the night came, it would become worse.

She would dream that her mother called her a monster while her father called her a failure, that she should have never been born if she was useless. Zuko would just silently watch her then turn his back on her before disappearing. 

Clamps of a chain would hold her up high in the darkness while her family and the people she thought were her friends would throw insults and laugh at her powerless self hanging up there. They would leave her alone in the darkness before her chains pulled her down in the dark abyss.

Then Azula would face the avatar in that deep abyss and he would take away her firebending, the only proof of everything she worked hard for. 

The guilt, shame, and failure would repeat themselves in a cycle that seemed to drown her in more despair. The loneliness and abandonment crushed her to the point that she shouted, wept, and cried for anyone yet there was no one there by her side.

Even if there was anyone there, no one would answer her call for help. She wasn’t worth any of their time. 

She had nothing and she knew that all of it was her fault. If she were any better, if she did more then maybe there would be something left for her. She did all best though to be perfect and appease the only person she thought loved her yet all of it was for naught.

She didn’t have anything that she could give any more. She couldn’t squeeze even a drop of will enough to keep herself strong. She was finally empty and broken inside. She hated her body that still wanted to breathe even if there is no reason to be alive. 

Slowly but surely, her body and heart became numb every time passing in the whole month. Everything faded in the background making the world black and white in her eyes, the only color left was her blue fire. 

Azula then decided to walk with no purpose. She walked straight into the lake of the Forgetful Valley even if she neck-deep into the water, she didn't stop. She wanted to extinguish this color until there was nothing left in her eyes and her world.

When the darkness of the water swallowed her, she expected to never wake up.

...

Yet here she was awake in another place. What a disappointment.

Azula brushed her hand on top of her head, not feeling her usual top knot. Oh, right. She had cut it off when she was inside the Forgetful Valley when she decided to have her ‘walk’. Now her hair was short and messy to the point that it didn’t even reach her shoulders.

She had been wearing the clothes she wore when she disappeared, the last time she had seen her brother and mother. She washed in the lake alongside her clothes that had become worn out because she would dry them with her fire bending.

Thinking about it, her clothes were still soaking wet. It seemed that she was still floating inside the lake yet she was in a different place.

Azula looked at the place where she woke up. It was a strange forest that seemed to shine from an unknown light source. There were plants that she had never seen before in her life and there were creatures that seemed to float or fly over the gigantic trees that seemed to glow. 

Azula immediately knew where she was and she has heard of this place from her uncle numerous times when she was young.

She was in the Spirit World. She must have accidentally traveled here through the Forgetful Valley.

Well, Azula doesn’t have any plan to move so she closed her eyes and let herself continue her floating. There was no care at all if she drowned or got eaten by a water spirit because that was her plan all along. 

_“Child of Fire, it is time to stand up.”_ A majestic voice rang inside Azula’s mind which made her face frown. She ignored it and continued to close her eyes until she felt her body rising up with some strange energy. Tch, just when she wanted to sleep eternally.

Gold eyes opened up and met a pair of blazing red slitted eyes looking back at her. Azula couldn’t help but gape at the creature that had been flying in front of her which should also be responsible for the energy that made her float on air.

It was a dragon. A blue scaled dragon with a long body yet there were no wings behind his back like the ones depicted in the old scroll Azula had read before in the Fire Nation’s Royal Library. It should be a spirit since she heard that her Uncle Iroh had slain the last one.

“What? Can’t you see I am trying to die here?” Azula snarkily said as she crossed her arm in defiance. She knew that she had nothing to lose anymore, that she had become fearless in the face of anything. She was at that point of insanity already.

_“It is still not your time to die, Child of Fire. Your destiny has already been set by the Fates and I am here to make sure you follow it.”_ The blue dragon told Azula which made her laugh hysterically.

“My destiny is to become the Fire Lord and it has already been stolen from me by Zuko! There is nothing for me left in this world, you freakshow of a lizard!” The young teen screamed with rage in her voice.

_“Silence!”_ The blue dragon shouted inside her mind and used some strange force that made her feel like her soul was being teared up into two. 

Azula screamed and winced in pain, yet her gold eyes filled with rage. She was squirming on air, trying to escape the dragon’s energy but there was no use.

_“I am the Azure Dragon King, Ao Guang, the right-hand of the Fire Spirit Agni. I will not take any insolence from a human child like you.”_ The dragon’s body elongated in front of Azula, looking down on her with eyes like the blazing red sun. 

_“I could kill you so easily without even burning you to death.”_ A crazed smile appeared on the young girl's lips as soon as she heard it.

"Well, that is more like it. Why don't you do it then, O Almighty Dragon King? Just end this worthless life of mine and you'll have no more problem in this world." Azula, while her soul still felt like splitting into two, has spread her arms as she taunts the dragon spirit. Her golden eyes bright like she was excited to have her end.

Being able to talk and move while having her soul tear up by energy bending is a great feat for a normal human. The little human child surprised the Dragon King who was watching her with interest.

_“For a person like you, I am sure being alive is much more of a punishment than death already. Having your death will cause me more problems and you have a role to complete in the physical world.”_ Ao Guang surrounded the young human with his body in a small distance. His red eyes faced her golden eyes who had shown disappointment.

“Could I just wait for the next spirit to devour me? I don’t like you. You’re giving me work when that is the last thing I want right now.” Azula gritted while her golden eyes showed the pain that she was experiencing spiritually and emotionally.

_“No, you could not. You should face the reality that you could not escape your destiny. Child of Fire, you are not destined to be the Fire Lord. Your blue flame is the greatest testament of that.”_ Ao Guang explained to the young girl whose face scrunched up in frustration and pain. He slowly released the energy bending and he saw her body slouch in exhaustion.

“Why? What is a blue flame supposed to signify?” Azula asked in a tone full of doubt, she crossed her arms once more in an act of defiance.

_"A blue flame means purity. It is a flame that has reached the highest point that it burns everything, leaving nothing. A perfect flame that destroys, unlike the red flame that signifies life."_ Ao Guang answered her with a matter-of-fact tone. He exhaled blue flames in the air that lit up their surroundings. Azula watched with an unimpressed look on her face.

"Thank you. I've always been a perfectionist. And a monster." The young teen replied with a nonchalant tone, already accepting it as a fact.

_“The blue flames also means that the Fates had deemed you worthy of the role to eradicate the Dark spirits that feed on the souls of the dead.”_ The Dragon King blew a red flame that showed a vision of people's souls being devoured by different creatures of darkness.

“What? Isn’t the Avatar supposed to be the bridge between the spirits and the humans? Why am I taking his job now?” Azula asked with a baffled face. She raised an eyebrow as she stared at the Dragon King who had flown beside her.

_“The war brought by you humans had empowered the Spirit of Darkness and Chaos, Vaatu and it had caused the Dark Spirits to go mad for the energy inside the human souls. Only the Avatar can defeat Vaatu but you can purify the Dark Spirits and protect the souls of the dead.”_ Ao Guang elucidates for the young human who is also watching the visions inside his flame.

“Protect the souls of the dead? And why should that be?” Azula asked in a doubtful tone. The people are already dead, all they are going to do is to pass on.

_“Once a Dark Spirit took hold of a soul, they could corrupt it if they did not devour it and it would become another Dark Spirit. It won’t be able to be guided by the moon and reincarnate.”_ The Dragon King looked up to a location and Azula followed his gaze.

It was a place where the surroundings were dark as the night. On top of that was a small white temple where it floats on a cloud-like ocean. It was illuminating the reaches of the darkness and if Azula looked closely, it seemed that someone was living in the temple.

Then she turned to the other side of the spirit world, there was a bright flaming chariot that was running on clouds of fire and lightning. Some dragons were flying with the chariot. The chariot was lighting up almost half of the Spirit World. It was like the sun shining over the Physical World.

_“That is the Fire Spirit, Agni who acts as the physical world’s provider of fire and lightning while also being the Sun in the sky. That is the creator of all Dragons.”_ Ao Guang spoke of Agni with a tone of reverence and adoration. Azula watched the Fire Spirit from far away yet she can feel a surge of heat inside her blood.

_“The Lineage of the Fire Lords were blessed by the Fire Spirit in the past until the era of Sozin. There was a prophecy that when your father marries your mother, the Fire Nation will be successful and blessed. That is because your brother has been destined to be the Fire Lord while you were destined to right the wrong your bloodline has done.”_ The blue dragon glanced at the young teen beside him who also looked back at him.

_“One will pave the way for the future while the other will cleanse the sins of the past.”_ Ao Guang matched the intense stare of Azula who stayed silent despite hearing his words.

“Okay, you have convinced me to at least try this destiny thing you have been blabbering about. It is not like I have anything better to do now.” Azula remarked while at the same time sounding disgruntled. Her heart was racing through inside her body, pumping her blood faster.

The Dragon King was giving her another opportunity, a second chance. A purpose to keep on living, she knew. An opportunity that can prove that all her hard work throughout the years of her life was not in vain even when she became the monster that she is now.

A chance that can put worth to her life which her father deemed useless, even though he was the one person who she poured all her efforts to because she thought he loved her. She wanted to prove him wrong. 

"So how are we going to start this? I can't even see spirits no matter how sharp my eyes are in the physical world." The young teen sat on air crossed-legged and looking incredibly relaxed at her situation.

_“I am here to grant you a blessing that will help you fulfill your duty.”_ The blue dragon flew in front of Azula and raised his claw on her face. Touching the girl’s forehead, he pierced her skin with a single talon and dragged it down to her cheeks, directly passing over her left eye. 

Azula screamed in pain and cursed the dragon in front of her. She clutched the bleeding left side of her face and curled herself in a ball because of the intense pain she could feel from the depths of her soul. 

_“If you could survive the change then you are worthy of being the Dragon King’s kin and following your destiny.”_ The blue dragon released his energy and dropped Azula on the lake where she woke up. His fiery red eyes watched her struggle on air before she flopped inside the lake.

The body of water boiled the moment Azula entered it due to whatever the dragon king did to her. 

Inside the lake, Azula couldn't feel anything except for the intense pain inside her. She felt like every part of her body was boiling up like magma and her bones were crushing themselves into pieces until they turned into dust. She had never felt so much pain in her life that she wanted to tear off her skin from the overheating change inside her body.

Before her consciousness disappeared, she cursed the giant lizard who was watching her from above.


	2. Chapter 2

002

Gold eye opened and its owner cursed.

Azula thought that it was all a dream. Well she hoped to Agni it was all a dream, yet clearly, the stinging pain slowly receding all over her body was proof enough that it was all real.

If it was not enough proof, the gigantic lizard who was watching her with interest overturned all her hopes into nothing.

_“Here I thought that you were going to perish. Well done, you have passed my trial of change. you are officially a kin of mine, Child of Fire.”_ The blue dragon stared at Azula with satisfaction as she was once again raised in front of him with his energy bending. 

“Who's your kin?! I am cursing you to death, you giant lizard!” The young teen gritted as she wanted to attack the Dragon King yet she was too weak to even move.

_"Now, now. There is no need for a tantrum, Child. You need to change before you can fight the Dark Spirits. Becoming my kin will grant you the abilities of a dragon."_ Ao Guang turned Azula to face the lake with his bending to see her reflection.

Azula’s eyes widened when she saw her face with a long but healed jagged scar running down her left eye which remained close till now. With a little pain throbbing inside her eye, she opened it slowly to see if it was also healed. 

A blue eye stared back at her from her reflection. It was the same color as the Dragon King’s scales. Azula’s reflection stared back with gold-blue eyes and a long scar running down her left cheek which reminded her of Zuko’s scar, it was in the same location as his.

“What did you do to me?” Azula asked as she was raised on the same level as the dragon's head. Her gold-blue eyes stared at the fire-red eyes with wonder itched on her face.

_“I gave you the blessing of a Dragon’s kin. It will grant you the ability to see the spirits and the strength of a dragon.”_ The blue dragon expounded for his new human kin and watched her face react with bafflement.

“You give me more power? Didn’t you know what I did and yet you trusted me with more power? Aren’t you afraid that I will kill Zuko with this?” Azula couldn’t help but ask the Dragon King who she thought was intelligent. One couldn’t be so smart to trust a crazy person with more power unless he wanted her to wreak havoc.

_“Who said that I trust you? I placed some restrictions when I gave you the blessing. For one, I know that you didn’t want to be the Fire Lord anymore and the only person you still care about is your older brother.”_ The blue dragon sounded smug as he circled the frowning human child.

_“But what about other people you say? Well, You can’t absolutely kill humans or spirits that are not crazed by chaos, you can only hurt them when they have the intent to kill you. You can’t kill yourself. You must kill the Dark Spirits around you. The Dragon side of you will automatically move to stop if you try to kill yourself or others around you.”_ Ao Guang explained the restrictions he had placed on her soul.

"Well, there goes my fun. Your blessing is stifling and annoying. So what abilities did I get from you? Can I turn into a dragon now?" Azula inquired while having a nonchalant expression on her face and a raised eyebrow directed to the blue dragon.

_"No, you cannot transform into a dragon but you have the senses, strength, power, and stamina of a dragon. Being kin of mine also added great healing abilities.”_ Ao Guang proudly said to his newest human kin. The last time he had one was when Agni let him bless the first Fire Lord and the first Sun Warrior.

“Wow, I am not impressed.” Azula gave the dragon a slow clap to further drive her dissatisfaction. What is the use of these abilities when she couldn't use them for herself? Right, it was for her destiny.

_“The Fates also wanted you to help the souls of the dead to pass on. So they granted you the ability to see the past of the dead to help them relieve their regrets and pass over to the guidance of the Moon Spirit.”_ Ao Guang ignored the young teen’s blatant disregard of his blessings.

“You’re going to give me more work? I thought this was more of a search and destroy because I am not a shaman or a monk. That’s more of the Avatar’s turf.” Azula balked at the idea of saying prayers for the souls of the dead. She is not shaving her head for this.

_“The Fates gave you this role as atonement for your lineage’s work in disrupting the balance of the world.”_ Ao Guang pointed out with a serious look on his visage. It was a hundred years of disruption of the world’s balance and it was placed on the shoulders of the girl in front of him along with her brother’s.

_“Your path is not to walk in the light but in the shadows. Reincarnation of the souls needed to be restored. The grievance of the hundred years war not only left regrets that trapped the dead in the physical world, but it also empowers the chaos of the Spirit World."_ The blue dragon told Azula in detail what the Fates wanted from her. He released a breath of red fire that gave her a vision.

_“Your role is to protect the souls of the dead and relieve their regrets so that they may follow the guiding light of the Moon Spirit. At the end of that light was the cleansing water of the Ocean Spirit that will clear away their memories and sins.”_ Red eyes met the gold-blue pair as the dragon explained to the human girl watching him.

_“Their cleansed soul will be given a new breath of life by the Fire Spirit. This is the path of Reincarnation for normal human beings who aren’t given the chance to become a spirit or aren't the Avatar.”_ Ao Guang continued as he circled Azula who had an inquisitive look on her face.

“Well, I find it laughable that the Fates created a monster to fight against other monsters. How convenient for them.” The young teen sneered at the role she was given. Her fire bending which she perfected with all her efforts to please her father, a monster in the eyes of others. It will be used to kill other monsters.

_“All of your experiences have led you to this path because of your destiny. At the end of your journey, you will realize the purpose of everything that happened to you. Why you were given your talents, why you can’t die yet, and why have you suffered. For in this world, there is no such thing as a coincidence.”_ The blue dragon looked wistful as he said this to Azula, making her feel like there was something inside his words as his fiery red eyes stared far away.

“If you say so. Now, how am I going to start this destiny of mine? Do we have to call the Avatar?” Azula’s face contorted into disgust at the thought of asking her former enemy any kind of help.

_“There is no need. You will come back from where you came from.”_ Ao Guang released the energy bending that was holding Azula and dropped her once again in the lake below them. 

“You mean by drowning again?!” The young teen managed to shout at the laughing blue dragon dancing in the skies above her.

_“Good luck, little dragon.”_ Azula heard before she went under the water. She tried to swim up but there seems to be some force pulling her down. 

No matter what she did, the force grabbed her like chains, and with her last breath, the darkness surrounded her.


End file.
